If you die young...

Perez Hilton.
He is the person that put me on to my current train of thought. (sidetrack... does he have a real name?). He was on Ellen the other day and declared that he was going to start being nice. Everyone knows Perez and how he will tear anyone down with words and throw them to the gossip dogs, but it still intrigued me that someone would have to publicly declare that they are going to make an effort to be nice. It all came about because of the recent extensive efforts against bullying, and as even he knows, Perez is a big bully in the celebrity world. But he wants to change, so I'm with Ellen, let's give him a chance. Let's see what happens from here.

But this idea of changing your behavior and your actions, led me to this:

You have your entire life to change your thoughts and actions, but what if your entire life ended today - what thoughts would be on your mind? What actions would be your last?

It's true, our lives could be severed at any moment in time. No one knows how long they will be on this earth, or to that point, how long there will be an earth. Yet, we all presume we will be here forever. We think a bad thought, we get angry, we yell at a friend... But it doesn't matter because we change our thinking, we will cool off, apologize later.... But later could be now. Right now. As I'm typing, as you are reading. This could be your last moment or my last moment.

The Band Perry intrigues me, not because the boys want to have as cool of hair as their sister, but because this family of amazing talent seemed to come from nowhere and they are shaking things up while staying fully grounded. The songs I have heard are fun and catchy, including their latest hit - which is strange as it is also deep and a bit dark. It is a song that captures that essence of "today may be your last." You may die young, you may not experience everything you ever dreamed, but if you do die young, did you lead a good life? Would you be able to look back and be proud? Have you cherished enough moments?

If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
oh oh oh oh

Lord make me a rainbow, I’ll shine down on my mother
She'll know I’m safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
ain't even grey, but she buries her baby

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had just enough time

If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had just enough time

And I’ll be wearing white when I come into your kingdom
I’m as green as the ring on my little cold finger
I’ve never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand
There’s a boy here in town says he’ll love me forever
Who would have thought forever could be severed by

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had just enough time

So put on your best boys and I’ll wear my pearls
What I never did is done

A penny for my thoughts, oh no I’ll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I’m a goner
And maybe then you’ll hear the words I been singin’
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin’

If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song, oh oh

The ballad of a dove
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep ‘em in your pocket
Save them for a time when your really gonna need 'em oh

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had just enough time

So put on your best boys and I’ll wear my pearls

Home is whenever I'm with you

I heard the song "Home" by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros as I was driving to my apartment tonight. It made me think back to a few weeks ago when I was visiting my parents and older sister in Texas. Some time during the weekend I talked to Blake on the phone and he asked me if I missed "home"; assuming he meant Nashville, I adamantly said yes and I was a bit confused when he asked me again "so you really miss home?" Then it struck me, he meant Texas. He meant did I miss "home" as in my parents and sister and the state I was visiting... But to me, that's no longer home. I love my family, I love my friends and I even dearly love Texas, however, Blake has caused a change. Texas will always be comforting to me and I will always feel loved, welcome, comfortable around my family and friends, but Blake is home to me now. I'm getting mushy... Sorry, skip the post. But it's true. Nashville is home for now, but if we move someday, that new place will be home. Just as Bandera, Wichita Falls, Denison, Plano, etc were home to me growing up with my parents. Anyway, love this song (I'm posting it below). It's fun and has a southern fun vibe to it. And its fitting :)

(Texas friends - they will be at ACL, you should go!)

Home

[Her:] Alabama, Arkansas,
I do love my ma and pa,
Not the way that I do love you.

[Him:] Holy, Moley, me, oh my,
You're the apple of my eye,
Girl I've never loved one like you.

[Her:] Man oh man you're my best friend,
I scream it to the nothingness,
There ain't nothing that I need.

[Him:] Well, hot and heavy, pumpkin pie,
Chocolate candy, Jesus Christ,
Ain't nothing please me more than you.

[Both:] Ahh Home. Let me come home
Home is wherever I'm with you.
Ahh Home. Let me go ho-oh-ome.
Home is wherever I'm with you.

La, la, la, la, take me home.
Mother, I'm coming home.

[Him:] I'll follow you into the park,
Through the jungle through the dark,
Girl I never loved one like you.

[Her:] Moats and boats and waterfalls,
Alley-ways and pay phone calls,
I've been everywhere with you.

[Him:] We laugh until we think we’ll die,
Barefoot on a summer night
Nothin’ new is sweeter than with you

[Her:] And in the streets you run afree,
Like it's only you and me,
Geeze, you're something to see.

[Both:] Ahh Home. Let me go home.
Home is wherever I'm with you.
Ahh Home. Let me go ho-oh-ome.
Home is wherever I'm with you.

La, la, la, la, take me home.
Daddy, I'm coming home.

[Him:] Home. Let me come home.
Home is wherever I'm with you.

[Her:] Ahh home. Yes I am ho-oh-ome.
Home is when I'm alone with you.

[Her:] Alabama, Arkansas,
I do love my ma and pa...
Moats and boats and waterfalls,
Alley-ways and pay phone calls...

[Both:] Ahh Home. Let me go home.
Home is wherever I'm with you.
Ahh Home. Let me go ho-oh-ome.
Home is where I'm alone with you...

http://www.myspace.com/edwardsharpe

A new season

It's fall in Nashville. I'm finally able to admit it and now with some expectancy as it means the holidays are drawing near. Technically, it was fall on September 23, but that week it was still warm enough to lay by the pool and soak up the sun (just ask Sarah who was here visiting last week). But I guess it was on Tuesday that I was walking across the grass to my apartment and realized that leaves were crunching under my feet. It was then that it hit me - fall snuck up on me. When I moved here Blake warned me that overnight summer would be here and the trees and landscape would magically be green. But I was so anxious for it that I noticed every detail of the changing season, but not with fall. And now at night the temperature drops to the 40s and the days are in the mid-70s. Very different from fall in Texas and yet, I love it. I love driving along and having the leaves falling like snowflakes on my car.

So it's been awhile since I've blogged.... Summer came and went. My parents, little sister and grandmother came to visit in June, spending nearly a week in my tiny apartment :) On the 25th, friends helped to surprise Blake for his first half-birthday celebration. In July, I became a part-time manager at LOFT, which (thankfully) cut my hours down at Zoes. Later in the month was Blake's family reunion in small-town Alabama. August came around with even hotter weather and Blake's graduation from MTSU. The graduation party was a wonderful celebration of him. And September, the month that is now ending, was a whirlwind. I flew to Texas to celebrate my 25th birthday with my family, after a few celebrations with Blake and his parents; then I drove home with the older sister who stayed for nearly a week to celebrate her birthday in Nashvegas. Football started and both of my teams are off to a good start. But now it's time for October, which will mark my 8th month of living in Tennessee. I even switched to a TN drivers license.....

Even with my wonderful summer and many moments to write about....I felt too apprehensive to even begin. I wanted to write some amazing life-changing news. I'm now a millionaire. I've been offered the dream of a lifetime. You know the sort, but life is never quite the fairy tale we imagine it to be or to become. I am still working two part-time jobs and applying for full-time positions (with little to no response). I still haven't been to visit my sister in Chicago, but I did finally make it home. I pray that I will stay healthy and my car will continue to run - I am making enough to cover my bills, but without health insurance or much money to spare. I could go on with the negatives that I never expected, but there are also positives that I never expected. I never dreamed I would love working in retail or for Ann Taylor LOFT. It was a temporary solution in my mind (and it still may be, with temporary stretching longer than usual). But I do, I love my job. It's unconventional. There is paperwork, but not the kind that requires you to sit behind a desk all day. I am constantly moving and I'm never bored. Projects are endless and a lot is expected of me in terms of my performance. I am a "trusted style advisor" as the company says and as my clients perceive, as they expect me to come up with a completely unique and absolutely perfect outfit to fit them. And I coach my girls in styling and serving our clients. I am learning more in one position than I imagined I would. My boss is great, my co-workers and management team are amazing, and the company itself is so very incorporating and supportive of their employees that I am impressed by their co-dedication to both employees and the client. Of course, it's not perfect (hence the reason for "temporary"). I am in need of real benefits and would love to have my nights and weekends back. It's exhausting and at times frustrating, but it's unconventional and it's where I am for now.

With this new season, I am more or less accepting my current position. I will still apply in the attempt to move up, but I am happy in my job. I am beginning to look forward to the holidays and more family time, but I'm also enjoying watching an actual season change. I will always love Texas and will continue to miss everyone there, but I may be turning in to a Tennessee girl... Who just so happens to have the perfect Tennessee boy ;)

I can tell you, my wish list is growing for when I do get that dream job.... I just can't help it :) It's also a fun game to play. One day, I'll be back in the game and I can buy the perfect mac laptop and have a car that works perfectly. It's coming, perhaps with this new season? Who knows, but I'm now glad that it's here.

Goodbye September, thanks again for a great birthday month!

April in a nutshell

Hey friends :)

Update: no full-time position, yet.
I should be starting a second part-time position by next week, just have to decide where first (have one and a half offers on the table...)

The last few weeks have been rather busy.. My friend Erika came to visit, first of all, and I was able to do a few touristy things with her. She also brought Mo to me! That was really an awesome part of it - I'm so happy he's here and he seems to really love it. So far his favorite spot is the top of my new couch or in the window, watching all of the geese and baby ducks walking by.

Anyway, I really had fun exploring the city and showing off little things that I love, including downtown Franklin. There we enjoyed lunch at Pucketts Grocery, followed by some window shopping and cupcakes from Naticakes. Blake had a free hour, so we met him at Centennial Park before musing through the Parthenon; it's been almost a year since I first visited it with Blake. We seemed to drive all over the place as we took off for more shopping in Hillsboro Village before heading over to Opryland and we even walked around the Grand Ole Opry :) The long day was ended with dinner at Satco and some live music at Tootsie's (I'm officially a fan of the place).



Before sending Erika home, we had to do the quintessential southern tourist activity - visit a plantation home. What better place to take her than the Belle Meade Plantation? This gorgeous house has a long line of impressive thoroughbreds and descendants, including my favorite racing horse, Secretariat. Here is what I think is impressive, all of the horses that have entered the Kentucky Derby in the past 5 years can trace their line back to the Bell Meade Plantation. It was once a glorious place. The mansion was built in 1853 and in its golden age, the family owned 2600 acres. Today the plantation sits on just over 30 acres.



The weekend after Erika left was my one year anniversary with Blake. It was a rather laid-back weekend, but so wonderful too. On Friday, I embarrassed Blake by having my boss deliver cupcakes to his work :) It was perfect. Saturday, we cooked dinner at home and saw a show at the Exit/In with Dave Barnes, Ben Rector, Andrew Ripp, and Steve Moakler. It was an amazing show! Loved the venue.. Even though it was packed and I was exhausted - yes, I contemplated sitting on the floor between sets.... The actual day of our anniversary I had to work (lame) but we enjoyed breakfast at the Perch and Blake surprised me by washing my car and buying a lovely mirror to hang over my couch. Later that night he made dinner and we had a quiet evening at home later on when Blake made dinner. It was simple and sweet. We are just so blessed to actually be able to spend all of our time together now! Oh, I also surprised Blake with an awesome (if I might say so myself) picnic basket -- hopefully we will use it a lot this summer.

So there is my April in a nutshell. Two months of bliss and frustration have flown by.... I'm hoping that the summer will hold some excitement (and hopefully I will get a job before then). I do think June should be interesting as half of my family plans to travel to or through Nashville.

That's about it... My apartment is fully furnished, we just need to paint my side table and everything we can do for now will be complete. Also, I miss my little sister. ... Wish I could afford to drive to Chicago! This summer for sure..

Love to all.

New location/New name

Hello friends! So if you are visiting this blog from my previous blog (meganchristineslife) then read on for an explanation of the switch... And if you are new to my blog, I hope you enjoy the ramblings and daily habit's of one gal creatively evolving.

My last blog was created under my college email address. After graduation I moved to using a gmail account and hardly ever look at my old email. However, if I do not sign in to my college email periodically, then my password will expire and I will be locked out forever more... And if that email expired, then my blog would expire as well. Confusing? Well, suffice it to say, it was time for a change.

The title "Creatively Evolving" came from my previous title of "Ever-changing". Blake came up with it - "ever-changing" reminded him of a phrase by Henri Bergson that he used to describe the philosphical concept of creative evolution, "The continual elaboration of the absolutely new". As the phrase was too long (and most people wouldn't understand it), we settled on "creativeevolution". With this name already taken, we moved on. "Creatively evolving" came about after a few tries and it was perfect. My life is ever-changing and yet I am creatively evolving as well. As a photographer and a writer, I find new ways to use my skills every day. I am also always searching out new skills and hobbies (I am not great at spray painting).

There you have it. Welcome to my new blog. And for more reading, check out my just for fun blog: http://insearchofgems.blogspot.com/. There I will be finding and reporting on little hole-in-the wall, hidden gems as I find them.

Love God, Love people.

Numbers of Frustration

I like numbers. I’m not always good at them, but they tend to control our lives to some point. Here are a few that are controlling mine… While I was working, I had been searching and applying for jobs here for eight months and I had wanted to quit my job for a total of 10 months. I haven’t actually worked in six weeks and I have been jobless (no pay) for five weeks (35 days). In that time of not working, I have applied for over 30 jobs. I have since acquired one consulting job (supposedly; they have no timeline as of yet), a part-time job that pays just above minimum wage, and zero full-time positions. These are the numbers that continue to haunt me every day as I search the internet for more position openings, meet with contacts, and mail out resumes.

I suppose I am finally feeling the effects of the economy. It’s frustrating. Baylor kind of teaches you that you will be invincible with a degree and your first job – land that and you’re good. Yes, my first salaried job took a few months to get as well, but as soon as the timing was right, I got it immediately. Now, I feel like the timing is right... What better time could there be? But God knows best. It’s the only mantra that keeps me sane.

I’m lucky, I know this. Most people get laid off, they don’t choose to quit their job and move to another state. I am the one who made that crazy decision :) Yep, me, and I am loving it. I love being near Blake and I love Tennessee. I’m lucky because I had money set aside and I was able to pay my first and second months’ rent and my bills. Ok, maybe I’m not lucky – I’m blessed. God has set provisions for me before my move and has watched over me, providing a great little apartment with affordable rent. So I am continuing to trust that he knows what my future holds; which is comforting, because I have absolutely no idea.

So I have accepted this part-time job to have some sort of income as I continue to apply and search for something full-time. That has taken a lot for me to come to. It feels like I am accepting defeat. I know it’s normal and necessary and all of that, but it’s a bit of a blow to move from a salary to hourly pay.
Then I calculate in the hourly pay, and the few hours I will be working, and I just about stop breathing. Surely God is aware of my situation… So what am I doing wrong? I’m supposed to be here, my apartment is perfect and the best price available… Now what? An evening part-time job… Possibly.
So there you have it. I’m stressed and frustrated. I was asked if I feel like I made a mistake in moving and to that I can say a definite no. No, I’m supposed to be here. I would have quit my job anyway and it was perfect timing to move.

Too bad it’s not summer already. At least then I could enjoy laying out by the pool in the middle of the day :)

To everyone who has been so encouraging and sent prayers up for me, thank you. Really, I honestly appreciate it. Some days I do get irritated with the constant “you’ll get a job soon, I know it”, only because I don’t always know it, but at the end of the day, I appreciate your encouragement and your belief in me.

And to all of my friends in the same situation, or with spouses in the same situation, I finally understand. I thought I did before, but now I really do. And I have learned to pray a little harder in this time, so you’re slightly more covered now :)

Deena

I really should be sleeping right now.. Tomorrow is moving day! By this time tomorrow I will be an actual Nashville resident. But I've decided to put sleep off for a bit because my best-friend back home asked that I write a blog about how much I miss her, once that actually hits me. Well, it hit me tonight. And since I may be without Internet for a few days, I decided to put that in to words now.

Blake and I had a date night tonight; meeting for dinner at Cozymel's (great Mexican food for TN) and renting a movie at the RedBox, before heading back to Allie and Eric's in Franklin. As we were driving through downtown Franklin, I couldn't help but think how soon summer will be here and how I can't wait to go shopping at all of the antique stores and the girl design shops and dress shops... And I honestly started to tear up because I thought of one friend I would call up to do that with and she is 700 miles away. Of course, I could do the same amount of shopping with Blake by my side, but sometimes you just need a girl to go shopping with.

I do have a few girl friends here, but I'm not quite to that comfort level of knowing that I can call them on a moments notice to hang out. Mostly because most of them are newlyweds and I feel awkward asking them to ditch their husband (or family for that matter). But even if Deena and I were both newlyweds or had families, our friendship is that which I could ask her to ditch the hubby for friend time and shopping.

It's not just because of shopping that I miss D. That just struck this Texas girl first because the idea of walking from one store to another is exciting in itself. Then you add in the fact that it's actual shops in buildings older than most things in Texas and it won't be sweltering heat of 110+! That just makes me smile in anticipation...

But I really can't go over to her house for Ghost Whisperer marathons or hang out by the pool this summer. She can't call me to save her from an awkward situation/party..instead I sometimes miss the text just telling me about it. I am so thankful for gchat, email, facebook, text and unlimited minutes, but it's not everything. I do believe I have strengthened one relationship and switched the other one to limited contact.. I know it was the right decision :) I love Blake like crazy, but it sucks that I couldn't box Deena up with me. I guess I'll just have to work harder on a plan of how to get her up here...

That's all for now. I miss my best friend and wish she could help me decorate my very sparse and very small apartment tomorrow, but I suppose I will just have to get it ready for her to come visit (soon!).

Goodnight everyone :)

If I was any good at design and had the appropriate software, I would not have spent the past (nearly) hour searching for a new background... Do you like it? It's called "Madison Avenue". I thought it was classic and clean.

My Tennessee Boy

I began my blog when I left home for a few months to live in New York City, which, up until recently, is the only other state I have lived in out. But I have once again moved from Texas and I am now calling Tennessee home. This time, however, it's not for just a few months....this time it is indefinite. I may never return to Texas... I do not know what my future holds.

In the past two years, especially in 2009, I have become a sporadic blogger. Since I am once again far from home and my family is beginning to stretch across states, I have decided to pick it back up. More constant blogs from me, that's a promise.

There are only a few reasons why I haven't blogged in so many months, one is - my computer crashed last fall and the idea of blogging from work was not attractive (I now have a new computer, thanks to my awesome grandfather). Another reason also related to work - in October of last year I began to very actively seek new employment. I was not a fan of my boss, which made me eager to find a more "normal" position, and I desperately wanted to move to Nashville; both things made me only want to write about my desire to get out of Dallas and be in Nashville already. Around that time, I began "micro-blogging", which basically means I joined the world of Twitter, and I began to think that brief updates were enough.

So.. excuses, excuses... and I'm back.

My life has been crazy and full of new experiences since September. Here are the highlights...
October: I attended my first Alabama football game. That is an experience. It was great fun and the beat Tennessee :)
November: For the first time ever, I brought a "significant other" to Thanksgiving dinner at my grandmother's house. It was great to show Blake my sort of hometown and introduce him to some of the family.
December: Hosted a Help-Portrait event. Spent my first Christmas with Blake's family, away from my own. There was not snow, but it was still a wonderful Tennessee Christmas.
January: Decided to move without a job and began to take steps towards that decision.
February: Quit my job, welcomed Kelli's new baby into the world, said "see you later" to my Dallas friends and my best friend, packed up my life and moved 700 miles away...

So here I am, in Tennessee, finally living in the same city as the love of my life :) Jobless, but moving in to an apartment at the end of the week. If you know anyone who is hiring in Nashville - let me know.

That's the catch up on my life as of late.. The condensed version for sure :)