Hooray for the sun

I dont understand how my prof expects me to study when it's in the 60s outside?! He must be crazy... So I'm sitting upstairs at Connecticut Muffin, once again, attempting to write my paper that is due at 5pm tomorrow. But in reality, I'm staring out the window at all of the people walking along in the bright sunshine, while listening to some old school tunes that are being played and occasionally staring at my paper.. maybe something will magically appear.. maybe not.

The past few days have been glorious. On Wednesday, I went to the Bronx Zoo with my roommate and Faith. It was rather cold, but we still enjoyed seeing some of the animals, once they came out in the afternoon. Apparently, the power had gone out that morning so nothing was open at first... it wasn't a bad experience, just not the best. It will be great once they finish with the renovations they are doing and once it's warmer

Yesterday it was supposed to rain so Faith, Elisa and I made plans that were somewhat indoors. First, we went up to the Cathedral Church of Saint John the Divine, which is on the edge of Harlem. It will be the largest church in the world if they ever finish it. Then we charged up on caffeine before walking over a few blocks to Columbia. The sun actually came out of hiding while we were there and it was gorgeous, I love the campus. Eloy met up with us and gave us a quick tour, pointing out what each of the buildings were. Then the four of us walked down a few more blocks to a Mexican food restaurant he knew of, the food was great and not too pricey. But sadly, we had to say goodbye and move on... We caught the 1 train up to the tip of Manhattan and checked out Fort Tryon Park. Unfortunately, the sun was hiding again and the trees were so bare it was a bit dreary. We did take a quick tour of The Cloisters, an extension of the Metropolitan Museum that holds medieval art. Then it was back to the train for a long train ride through Manhattan..

Our last stop of the day was Soho. None of us had actually been there, odd since we seem to be in Greenwich Village all the time and they back up to each other. So we walked around a bit and went into a few shops, before making our final stop at H&M. That store is a-mazing! It could be my closet and I would be happy :) Finally.. back home to grab some dinner and attempt to study. Like I said, attempt.

Now I'm back at the CM, pretty psyched about tonight (it's Donelle's birthday) and ready for the next few days of sunny weather. I'm thinking playing in Central Park is the goal for tomorrow!

I'm not ready to leave NY for good..

Summary of My Week! :)

The best time to blog - when you should be doing homework, but instead you want to tell the world how marvelous life is! :)

Currently I'm sitting at my desk, listen to Vicky Beeching, thinking about how great God is, how crazy life is, and how gorgeous it is to have the sun streaming through my windows (even though it's a bit overcast).

This past week has been crazy. I helped at the Mad Hatter Tea Party on Easter, pics of which will be on my flickr account shortly. I met a few new people there, one of which was a guy I hung out with a few times over the week. The whole day was insane. People were wearing the craziest hats and outfits. My own hat wasn't too bad... but it was freezing, I was bundle up.. and well, let's just say I fit in :) It even snowed for awhile, something I dont think I've ever experienced on Easter. I'm sorry Al Gore, where is that global warming you are so worried about?? Apparently, not in NY.

Well, Sunday was just the kick off. This was also my last week at work. It was so odd and I still feel like I'll be going back tomorrow.. A few of the girls from one team brought me chocolates, mmm I love chocolate. One of my bosses gave me the hat I wore on Sunday. And my supervisor is planning a goodbye party. It was sad to say goodbye. I wont really miss the LH&A, just some of the people. I cant believe how much I learned there. The girls who gave me the chocolates (Leonidas, fresh belgian chocolates to be exact), were suprised that I am only a junior and they said they always expected me to have more questions than I did. I'm glad I was useful and good at helping them. Not trying to brag.. but I love compliments on my work, it is something I put all of my effort into.

On Saturday, we had a girls night. We had dinner at an italian restaraunt in Greenwich Village, then watched the off-broadway production of Anne of Green Gables. It took us back.. what wonderful childhood memories of reading and watching Anne Shirley :) I loved it. Then we walked around until we found a bakery and had some sweets! After returning to the dorm, a few of us decided to do something crazy... so we jumped back on the subway and headed back to where we were and got piercings. Yep. This time it was my cartilage, which is what another girl got pierced to, while my roommate had her belly button pierced. The guys were great and the whole place was sterile. (I promise, mom, they had everything individually packaged and properly disposed of used items..) Anyway, it was random and fun :)

So yesterday was just generally not a good day. I got into an argument with two different people and it was rainy all day, with no sun to speak of. But you know what.. in your lowest times, God really shows you the value of friends who love you. Even friends who are miles and miles away.. aka Ben.. and my family.. all of which embrace me, love me and really turn me back to who will always gives me strength and happiness -- God. So, following their advice, I spent sometime alone, journaling, praying and listening to worship in a coffee shop down the street. That has been the hardest thing this semester - just taking out alone time and spending time with Jesus. Some of the girls here have really been faithful in doing that, and I'm impressed, I've definitely struggled. There's just always something to do, or my roommate to hang out with, or homework that has to be done.. but He should always come first...

Well, here's a bit of Vicky.. enjoy...

Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face
And the things of earth
Will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace
In the light of His glory and grace

Isn’t He beautiful?
Isn’t He beautiful?
Outshining sun and stars
It’s indescribable
How breathtaking You are

So I turn my eyes upon You now
Look full in Your wonderful face
And the things of earth
They grow strangely dim
In the light of Your glory and grace
In the light of Your glory and grace

You are so beautiful
You are so beautiful
Outshining sun and stars
It’s indescribable
How breathtaking You are

It's a rainy, lazy day.
A northestern has blown in and parts of the city are flooded.
After sleeping in, we went to Target - just a few stops away and no walking in the rain.
Now we have the game of Life to play.
And Carrie Underwood to listen to.

"I Ain't In Checotah Anymore"

Where 69 meets 40,
There's a single stop light town,
And back when I was really young,
A part of that burned down,
On any given Friday night,
We'd drive a hundred miles,
Between the Sonic and the Grocery Store,
Laughing all the while,
With as many friends as I could pack,
In my daddy's Ford,
But I ain't in Checotah anymore.

My hotel in Manhattan,
Holds more people than our town,
And what I just paid for dinner,
Would be a down payment on a house,
I'd rather be tipping cows in Tulsa,
Than hailing cabs here in New York,
But I ain't in Checotah anymore.

I'm in a world so wide,
It makes me feel small sometimes,
I miss the big blue skies,
the Oklahoma kind.

In a world of long red carpets,
The bright lights of Hollywood,
All the paparazzi flashing,
Could make a girl feel pretty good,
You can get anything you want here,
Except a Wal-Mart store,
But I ain't in Checotah anymore.

I'm in a world so wide,
It makes me feel small sometimes,
I miss the big blue skies,
the Oklahoma kind.

Where the Wildcats beat the Ironheads,
Old Settler's day and the Okrafest,
After prom, down at the bowling lanes,
Catching crappie fish in Eufaula lake,
I ain't in Checotah anymore.

I'm in a world so wide,
It makes me feel small sometimes,
I miss the big blue skies,
the Oklahoma kind,
But I ain't in Checotah,
No I ain't in Checotah,
Oh, there's nothing like Oklahoma.

Where 69 meets 40,
There's a single stoplight town.

My broken heart

It's nearly 2 o'clock in the morning. I was going to write a blog about how lonely New York is, but I couldn't begin to describe it. I think there are some experiences and feelings that can't be explained through words. Suffice it to say, New York City is one of the loneliest places on earth.

My heart broke tonight. I was sitting in my room, watching TV with my roommate and two of our guy friends, but I wasn't to into the show so I started reading the New York magazine I just bought. I came across a story about Lucilia. A girl who was tossed around by CPS as a child, unloved by her parents, abused by the people who were supposed to protect her.. and by 13 she ended working as a prostitute, owned by a pimp. 13. Apparently, we have girls starting prostitution at the age of 12. In a country that prohibits prostitution of any kind, these pimps are owning girls and selling them. I guess it's not that I didn't imagine it could happen, I just didn't want to. I would like to think that our government protects against this. I would like to think that there are social workers who keep kids from falling through the cracks or from ending up under poor guardianship. I would like to think so much.. and hope for so much more.. I would like to think I could make a difference.. but I dont know how. All I can do is read there story and pass it along to you.
Read her story, maybe it will change your life. If it doesnt at least sadden you then you will know that you are as cold hearted as this world has made a million other people.
http://nymag.com/news/features/30018/

I just want to love this girl and all the other ones out there like her. To let her know that she was not meant to be abused, that it's not right. That God loves her and find her precious to him. Oh but I want to know why it happened I do. I want to do something. I live in this city and at times it disgusts me; right now is one of those times.

The money in this city is ridiculous, but the there is a great lack of it. I dont know how the people with the money could help the city. Maybe clean up the streets, or the subways. Yes, I've heard the story that the crime was lowered in the city because it was cleaned up to have the impression that crime didnt exist. Well, the city needs another cleaning. The streets aren't always that bad, but really - our subways are a disgrace. Something needs to change, to make the city into a better place. Whether it's make it "feel" better so that it will be better, or whether it's doubling the police squad. I dont know but it needs to change. Why is it that America thinks it's so great and yet we are lacking just as much, but usually more than other cities? We are one messed up nation.

The lack of love in the city is also ridiculous. There is this false sense of love that is sickening. There is also a general distrust in your fellow man that makes you easily irritable and generally unpleasant.

I feel like I'm just trashing the city, but tonight it has broken my heart. The city and I have a love/hate relationship.. tonight my feelings are on the hate side. I hate it because it allows things to happen to girls like Lucilia and it does very little to protect them, though it tries to punish them. But maybe I should just hate the world, because it happens in places other than NY.
For now I'll just be disgusted with the culture of today.

Slightly incoherent ramblings..

As soon as I found out I was moving to the City I immediately decided to set up a blog to keep track of my activities and keep in touch with family and friends. Oddly enough, I already had two blogs.. first xanga, which I gave up for myspace, which I gave up for this.. I was thinking about this as I read my sister's blog on myspace, because I realized that the xanga was a simple recollection of my days events, while myspace was turning into a deeper spiritual reflection area, but I'm not sure what I'm doing here. The blogosphere is an interesting place. Myspace has protections so I can keep all prying eyes out; here I could have the same, but I invite all to my page. But because everyone can view my page, it makes me hesitant to talk about my beliefs. Why? Probably because most of my ponderings are on my failures at being a Christian, not at how great of a Christian I am. But can anyone be a "great Christian" since that means they are "exceptionally Christ-like"? Probably not.

So.. I give in, here are my ponderings.

Currently, I am 1600 miles from home and yet I am still affected by the actions of some of my friends, none of which have actually been directed towards me. How odd is that? I've never imagined that my poor attitude or behavior would affect people far away. I know it's plausible, but it's just not something I consider, and I'm sure it's nothing they have considered. But here's the hardest part - there's nothing I can do. I wanted to call them out on being poor examples of Christ, but I dont think I have been the best example myself in awhile. I feel like if I tell them they've dissapointed me, then I'll be judging them.. but they have dissapointed me. I may not be the perfect person and I dont expect perfection from them, but I do expect more because I know they are kind, loving people. Anyway, that's a situation I've been praying for all semester.. I sometimes just wish you could force people to be kind, intelligent and considerate ;) But then, where would free will be?

Next weekend is Easter, for all of you who haven't been to church, that is a good Sunday to go.. and I'll be joining you. Yes, the pastor's kid, who grew up in church and who has grown to love church, has only been to church three times in the past three months. I have plenty of excuses, trust me. Like yesterday- my roommate and I wanted to go running and then we were joining the crew for a double birthday celebration. The night before we had stayed up late, so the thought of getting up, running, going to church, then going to lunch was a bit much - worst of all was trying to find somewhere to go. The only recommended churches have been those that are so large it's like going to a free concert -- you may get in, you may get a seat, or you may not. And that's wonderful, churches should be packed to capacity, everyone should be eager to learn more about God. But is that why they are packed, or is it just another tourist attraction? Just thinking about it tires me out. I did find one place, but it's in the middle of the afternoon, which sounds marvelous and would be in Waco.. but by then I'm either in the midst of homework or somewhere in Manhattan, too far from this distant Brooklyn church. So I'm giving up. Sad, I know. I hope to find a church this Sunday that I can go to before heading over to Tavern, but it will probably be just another attraction. We shall see.

In just a few weeks, I'll be back home. I'll go to church every Sunday and everything I need will just be a ten minute drive, at the most, away from me. No more 30 minute subway rides, no more smelly stations, or deranged homeless people. And.. then again.. no more New York.

I can think of a million reasons as to why I'm ready to be back with my family and friends, but when I think hard about it, I can also think of about as many reasons why I would stay in the city. I thought I would come here, get the longing to live in NY out of my system, move back home, finish school and then move on to wherever and whatever. Well.. there's not solution to this strange pull between two very different lives. But that is why I titled this "ramblings."