It's nearly 2 o'clock in the morning. I was going to write a blog about how lonely New York is, but I couldn't begin to describe it. I think there are some experiences and feelings that can't be explained through words. Suffice it to say, New York City is one of the loneliest places on earth.
My heart broke tonight. I was sitting in my room, watching TV with my roommate and two of our guy friends, but I wasn't to into the show so I started reading the New York magazine I just bought. I came across a story about Lucilia. A girl who was tossed around by CPS as a child, unloved by her parents, abused by the people who were supposed to protect her.. and by 13 she ended working as a prostitute, owned by a pimp. 13. Apparently, we have girls starting prostitution at the age of 12. In a country that prohibits prostitution of any kind, these pimps are owning girls and selling them. I guess it's not that I didn't imagine it could happen, I just didn't want to. I would like to think that our government protects against this. I would like to think that there are social workers who keep kids from falling through the cracks or from ending up under poor guardianship. I would like to think so much.. and hope for so much more.. I would like to think I could make a difference.. but I dont know how. All I can do is read there story and pass it along to you.
Read her story, maybe it will change your life. If it doesnt at least sadden you then you will know that you are as cold hearted as this world has made a million other people.
http://nymag.com/news/features/30018/
I just want to love this girl and all the other ones out there like her. To let her know that she was not meant to be abused, that it's not right. That God loves her and find her precious to him. Oh but I want to know why it happened I do. I want to do something. I live in this city and at times it disgusts me; right now is one of those times.
The money in this city is ridiculous, but the there is a great lack of it. I dont know how the people with the money could help the city. Maybe clean up the streets, or the subways. Yes, I've heard the story that the crime was lowered in the city because it was cleaned up to have the impression that crime didnt exist. Well, the city needs another cleaning. The streets aren't always that bad, but really - our subways are a disgrace. Something needs to change, to make the city into a better place. Whether it's make it "feel" better so that it will be better, or whether it's doubling the police squad. I dont know but it needs to change. Why is it that America thinks it's so great and yet we are lacking just as much, but usually more than other cities? We are one messed up nation.
The lack of love in the city is also ridiculous. There is this false sense of love that is sickening. There is also a general distrust in your fellow man that makes you easily irritable and generally unpleasant.
I feel like I'm just trashing the city, but tonight it has broken my heart. The city and I have a love/hate relationship.. tonight my feelings are on the hate side. I hate it because it allows things to happen to girls like Lucilia and it does very little to protect them, though it tries to punish them. But maybe I should just hate the world, because it happens in places other than NY.
For now I'll just be disgusted with the culture of today.
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