Friendships..

The Postal Service have the perfect calming effect when life overwhelms you and makes you sad.
I'm both right now - overwhelmed and sad.

I'm overwhelmed because, for whatever reason, one of my professors decided to give a test the Monday before Thanksgiving and another decided to have project presentations the Tuesday before. Sure, it will be helpful to get them out of the way, but I just want to go home to my parents and not study.. But I'll do those two things and a million other little things, I'll see friends and have turkey dinners with them.. and I'll go home after work on Tuesday.

So that's one thing.
I'm sad because it just hit me that I have officially lost another friend. I hate when that happens. And not because they've moved away or something, but we've just ceased to be friends. The worst part- I don't know why. So here's the deal. I've been friends with a girl since my freshman year here, we were never really close until she became my roommate last fall. At that point we were very close. From there I met her befriended her boyfriend, listened to wedding plans and was invited to the shindig following her engagement.. not to mention, I was there with her through the good and bad times of that semester. We dealt with tough situations in our house and we grew a lot together. But upon my return to school this semester she seemed distant. I just assumed we were both really busy and she was even more so, planning for a fall wedding and all. Then there was no contact and no wedding invitation. No big deal, she waits till last minute to do a lot of things... then there was the brush-off at church... ok, still not understanding... Well, she got married this weekend. I'm not offfended that I wasn't invited, it just hurts because now I know for sure, our friendship is over.

I'm not the best friend; I try to be, but I know I fail. I've had at least two close friendships end because I was too stubborn to see someone elses point of view; that is hard to admit, but it's true. I've had multiple friendships end because someone's moved away or lives have taken completely different directions, those I accept as just a passing of time and part of life. But I hate when something ends because I've been stubborn or selfish, or due to unknown circumstances.

So if you are my friend and I'm being a jerk, let me know and have patience - I'll do the same for you. I want friendships to last, especially the ones that make my heart smile.

For Thanksgiving - I give thanks to the wonderful tried and true friends that I have. I have definitely become a better friend, but I still have friends who were around when I was too selfish to be a great friend. Thanks for sticking by me and understanding me :)

Love God, Love People.

M