Friendships..

The Postal Service have the perfect calming effect when life overwhelms you and makes you sad.
I'm both right now - overwhelmed and sad.

I'm overwhelmed because, for whatever reason, one of my professors decided to give a test the Monday before Thanksgiving and another decided to have project presentations the Tuesday before. Sure, it will be helpful to get them out of the way, but I just want to go home to my parents and not study.. But I'll do those two things and a million other little things, I'll see friends and have turkey dinners with them.. and I'll go home after work on Tuesday.

So that's one thing.
I'm sad because it just hit me that I have officially lost another friend. I hate when that happens. And not because they've moved away or something, but we've just ceased to be friends. The worst part- I don't know why. So here's the deal. I've been friends with a girl since my freshman year here, we were never really close until she became my roommate last fall. At that point we were very close. From there I met her befriended her boyfriend, listened to wedding plans and was invited to the shindig following her engagement.. not to mention, I was there with her through the good and bad times of that semester. We dealt with tough situations in our house and we grew a lot together. But upon my return to school this semester she seemed distant. I just assumed we were both really busy and she was even more so, planning for a fall wedding and all. Then there was no contact and no wedding invitation. No big deal, she waits till last minute to do a lot of things... then there was the brush-off at church... ok, still not understanding... Well, she got married this weekend. I'm not offfended that I wasn't invited, it just hurts because now I know for sure, our friendship is over.

I'm not the best friend; I try to be, but I know I fail. I've had at least two close friendships end because I was too stubborn to see someone elses point of view; that is hard to admit, but it's true. I've had multiple friendships end because someone's moved away or lives have taken completely different directions, those I accept as just a passing of time and part of life. But I hate when something ends because I've been stubborn or selfish, or due to unknown circumstances.

So if you are my friend and I'm being a jerk, let me know and have patience - I'll do the same for you. I want friendships to last, especially the ones that make my heart smile.

For Thanksgiving - I give thanks to the wonderful tried and true friends that I have. I have definitely become a better friend, but I still have friends who were around when I was too selfish to be a great friend. Thanks for sticking by me and understanding me :)

Love God, Love People.

M

Wal-Mart Sells Drugs

I was going to add "kills children" but since that's not completely true.. I suppose I won't slander them too much. Anyway, I received the "Wal-mart wish guide" in the mail, though I don't have children.. and one of their "top 12" toys is aquadots.
It's right there, in big bold letters, the toy that is associated with a deadly date rape drug is sold and supported by Wal-mart. Shame on them. They kill off small businesses, they create a monopoly, they provide terrible customer service and then they start in on our children.

Love, Movies, Senior Year

It's nearly 2am, the latest I've stayed up in ages, and I'm sitting in my living room watching Sleepless in Seattle. Meg Ryan is my favorite actress, next to Audrey Hepburn. And I love the soundtracks for Sleepless in Seattle and You've Got Mail, they are just fabulous.

There's this one part in the movie when Rosie's character is talking to Meg Ryan's character and she says: "That's your problem. You don't want to be in love - you want to be in love in a movie."

That's so me. I adore the love stories in movies. I don't have it yet, but I'm holding out, one day I'll get my love story.... I wonder if I love NY in part for how romantic it is and seems to be. Hmm just a thought..

So anyways, I felt really old tonight.. Meagan, Amanda and I decided to go to an ATO party tonight after a dance party at CG. It was going to be a fun night of dancing - or so we thought. The CG party was fun. Really it was just all of the typical people, plus a handful of other kids, goofing off and dancing to fun music. But once we got to the ATO party, that was when I felt old.

I hadn't been to one all year and I thought it would be like old times, but it wasn't... I realized that most of my ATO friends have graduated. Most of the girls there were freshman and the guys were probably mostly sophomores and juniors. I was among the oldest people there. As sad as I am to graduate, I guess it really is time.. time to say goodbye and move on.. well, I guess by May I'll be ready to do that. These small moments in time are definitely preparing me for that time.

Well, the movie is over and I'm much to tired to write anymore.

Good night everyone. I hope you all get your love story too :)

Pretty Girl

So... I don't always feel pretty. Well, I'll probably feel pretty more often than I feel that other people view me as pretty. Let's just say that it's not an everyday occurrence for someone to tell me how great I look. I'm ok with that, I'm not conceited and I know there are plenty of gorgeous girls out there, especially here at Baylor... but here's the worst. When you are told you're pretty, only to be followed with the hint that you are a just pretty face, nothing else.

I'm an intelligent girl. I don't want to defend myself, but a conversation just left me feeling like I should. Here's how it started; I was hanging out with a bunch of friends last night that I've known for years. I was in a goofy mood and unusually flirty, which apparently wasn't the best since there were a few people there that don't know me as well. Through a conversation it came off that I'm always this way. The worst part- a close friend was a part of the conversation. Now I'm left wondering if anyone knows me at all. There are some friends that do... but the rest of you?

So here's how it goes - I am intelligent. I am pretty, but not conceited. I can be flirtatious, but I am reserved. I won't get into a deep debate with someone upon first encounter. I tend to keep political, religious, and similiar topics, to serious conversations in which I feel I will have freedom to express my opinions. It's not that I always want to be right or that I know a great deal about every subject, but I'm interested if you have a differing opinion or if you can inform me on something unknown to me. I'm not interested if you are just going to tell me I'm wrong and my opinions are stupid.

That's my rant for the day.
Your average pretty girl probably has a brain, but she isn't going to walk around spouting off how smart and pretty she is. We are the type that you have to get to know.